Lie #4: You are not (and never will be) enough.

It's been a long long while since I tackled the "lies I believe" series I started, but I felt like the time was right to explore it a little more.  I've enjoyed blogging again and putting so many different ideas out there, and I think it's healthy and wise to discuss some of these societal pressures.  Communication and authenticity are essential for overcoming any obstacles... including these lies we've sold ourselves.

As I mentioned earlier, I was reading Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly, and it really resonated with me.  I would highly recommend it, and I can't wait to get my hands on my next title from her.  But in this book, she discusses the concepts of vulnerability and scarcity.  One of the most powerful quotes that struck me was about how we live in a scarcity mindset.  The first things we think upon waking up are that "there's not enough time" and "I didn't get enough sleep".  I'm SO incredibly guilty of this, but I'd never looped it in with my longing for "enough-ness." 

She discusses how this is a particular challenge for us women because, like it or not & admit it or not, society has placed certain standards of femininity on us that we are expected to bear in order to be thought of as a "real woman".  We absorb these messages from a young age, and honestly, it simply tears us apart because the ideals are so contradictory!  Look at some of the things she discusses below (language warning!).

I've certainly experienced more than my fair share of these, and I anticipate that any woman reading this who's honest with herself also has.  The even more tragic problem becomes when those who we love and give our hearts to have also bought into these ideals and - whether intentionally or not - make us feel like we don't measure up.  So, measuring ourselves by these ever-increasing standards of beauty and acceptance, we embark on the elusive quest to become "enough." We're really searching for worthiness.  In the eyes of those we love.  And in our own eyes.  But we tie our acceptance and worthiness to achievements that train us to think we must "earn" our acceptance.  Or that our acceptance and worth is based on some conditional situation or standard.

We are on this wild goose chase for feeling "enough"... but then as a Christian, I'm also supposed to be humble and not consider myself higher than I ought.  So I've asked several Christian women, how do you balance the ideas of feeling "adequate and worthy" with a "Christlike humility"?  How do you keep your confidence up, yet keep from thinking more highly of yourself than you should?  I'm still collecting all those answers and plan to explore it at greater length in another post, but it does raise some thoughtful questions for us to consider.

Many of us perfectionists recovering perfectionists suffer from something I've learned is called imposter syndrome.  We think there's no way that we are as successful and worthy as we outwardly appear to others, and we constantly live in fear that someone will discover what imposters we are.  This doesn't only affect women; check out the screenshot I saved that someone had shared from social media. 

The truth is, we are all works in progress.  And if anyone tells you or sells you differently, they're a bold-faced liar.  Yep, I said what I said.  I believe the issue lies in convincing ourselves that it's okay to be a work in progress.  Sometimes that’s much easier than others, and often times when our stress levels get too high in other areas of our lives, the walls all start to cave in.  I don't know about you, but that's exactly when that little voice begins whispering exactly how "not enough" I am. 

Now I could never be enough to save myself, which is the entire reason we need Christ.  (I hit on that topic and the dangerous idolatry that can result in a recent/previous post.)  But I do need to recognize that I am exactly enough because He thought I was enough!  He thought I was worthy to die on the cross for me.  And that should be enough.  In fact... maybe the problem isn't just that I don't think I'm enough.  It seems that I'm in essence telling Christ that He's not enough when I think this way.  Whew... that was a convicting realization.  When I can begin to focus on how Christ is enough, maybe I will better recognize "I am not enough" for the lie that it is.