Inside Bell's Brain

Every year, like so many of you, I try to select a word that will govern my thoughts and actions for the year. If I’m completely honest, last year’s word was a complete failure, and it’s possible that I’ve never felt more UNdisciplined in my life. (But I may come back to that at a later time.) Today I want to focus on my 2019 word and all it means for me. Last year was such an... interesting... year for my growth. It was the year I definitely never saw coming. But I faced a lot of fears and insecurities that I had no idea still loomed under my surface. I’m still facing those, and that growth process has led me to choose the word “enough.” I love the song “You Say” by Lauren Daigle that my friend sent me. She knows some of my inner struggles and conflict and sent me this lyrical jewel in one of my dark moments last year. I dare say it’s been on repeat pretty much ever since.  So I also embarked on a series (more to come) on the lies I have believed after beginning t...

This one’s kind of lengthy and vulnerable, so here it goes... I have so many new, brave, even scary goals for this new year. 2017 was good to me, but I can’t help but feel like I often times didn’t make the most out of it. I don’t want to live a squandered life. But I also want to be mindful, vigilant, and protective of my time and energies because I’ve learned I can care for no one when I’m burnt out and used up.  This new year will hopefully hold even more exciting opportunities than last year. I’m praying God will give me wisdom and discernment to know which to pursue. It feels like so much is happening right now in my life, but I don’t want to take another step if it’s not toward God. As hard a pill as it is to swallow, I don’t want any part of anything that isn’t God’s plan for my life, even if that means I don’t get everything I want.  My one little word for 2018 is discipline. It sounds harsh, but I realized something when I was studying a few weeks ago that made m...

Admittedly I struggled with my "one little word" for this year.  I'm at a really pivotal point in a great deal of things going on in my life right now but I wanted it to be a word of true meaning and significance for me...a word that represents the excitement, fear, elation, frustration, and confidence that this year is for me. At first I thought ringmaster seemed like a good enough word.  I was certainly juggling the many responsibilities I have while learning to find the most important balance...a balance to take care of myself.  I was becoming a ringmaster of my own life again .  (And I don't mean that in a spiritual sense because God guides my daily path.  I just mean that I was taking control back of the things that have spiraled beyond my control...mostly because of my desire to make others around me happy and to be a person who can't say "no.")  But I digress... That still just didn't have the right nuance to it.  This year is about...