Beautiful... God’s Way

It’s hard. To be surrounded by the world’s standard of beauty all the time and yet not fall victim to it. There are so many unattainable standards of beauty in our society, and it seems they’re ever changing. I sometimes feel like I’m the only one who finds it exhausting to keep up.

Am I beautiful enough?

Am I fit enough?  Am I soft enough?

Is this big enough?  Is this small enough?

Does this make me look fat?  What if I stand up?  What if I sit down?

What if someone takes a candid picture and it isn’t flattering?

What if my tummy has rolls when I sit down? Or lean over?

Is this too tight or just fitted?  Is this too loose?  Is this too flashy?  

Is my makeup perfect?  What about now?

What about my hair?  Is it better up or down?

Why can’t I look like her? Why is her {insert whatever insecurity} better than mine? 

My head literally spirals with thoughts like this. I know objectively how far I’ve come. Forty pounds gone is no small feat. Yet it still feels like it’s not enough sometimes. I crave the compliments that I once got when the weight dropped so easily. Now it’s harder and I have to work at it. The compliments don’t come, and it feels lonely and useless. 

I have the wrong focus. My focus *should* be on God’s standard of beauty. I can’t measure myself by what the world says is beautiful. I need to work hard to focus on what God says is beautiful and prayerfully cultivate those qualities in my life. I’m sure God could care less what this temporary vessel looks like though He took His beautiful, precious time to knit me together. Why don’t I appreciate that more than I do?  

God wants me to be concerned with my internal beauty and perfecting (completing) it in Him. Am I godly?  Am I meek?  Am I modest?  Humble?  Submissive?  Hospitable?  Patient?  Kind?  Compassionate?  I need to be always striving to be more like Jesus, but His truth is that He loves me how I am. And He is my Husband, my Maker, my Redeemer, and my Friend.