Sunday, January 24, 2016

One Little Word 2016

Admittedly I struggled with my "one little word" for this year.  I'm at a really pivotal point in a great deal of things going on in my life right now but I wanted it to be a word of true meaning and significance for me...a word that represents the excitement, fear, elation, frustration, and confidence that this year is for me.

At first I thought ringmaster seemed like a good enough word.  I was certainly juggling the many responsibilities I have while learning to find the most important balance...a balance to take care of myself.  I was becoming a ringmaster of my own life again.  (And I don't mean that in a spiritual sense because God guides my daily path.  I just mean that I was taking control back of the things that have spiraled beyond my control...mostly because of my desire to make others around me happy and to be a person who can't say "no.")  But I digress...

That still just didn't have the right nuance to it.  This year is about more than that for me.  In just under three months I turn 30!  I'm losing weight and becoming a new woman.  I'm re-prioritizing my own value in my life because I know my worth in God.  I am doing things for myself that I've put off for too long...exercise, National Boards, sleep, time with friends, maybe even dating again should the right guy present himself in my life.

I went to an awesome conference yesterday, and that's when it really solidified for me.  I had read this somewhere earlier in the week, and I wish I could give the proper person, article, site credit, but I truly cannot remember where I first encountered the concept behind this one little word.  But it's simultaneously about success and encompasses this dichotomy of emotions I'm feeling and, perhaps most importantly, the attitude that I want to pass on to my students as well.


A small word.

A function word.

It delivers no content.  No significant meaning, yet it changes the entire meaning of the sentence.

And that's my word.

You see, I have so many things that I want to do and am doing and will do that I'm not quite where I want to be...YET.  And that's okay.   I'm a thousand percent okay with that because I'm excited about this journey.

I'm not faithful, fervent, and consistent in my daily prayer and Bible study...YET.
I'm not married to a godly man who loves me the way Christ loves the church...YET.
I'm not a mother of beautiful adopted children who I have already given my heart to...YET.
I am not strong in my arms, abs, or back...YET.  
I haven't achieved my goal weight or dress size...YET.
I'm not an accomplished teacher...YET.
I'm not debt-free...YET.
I'm not the woman, the beast, the boss that I want and was born to be...YET.

But I'm getting there.   Day by day.  Step by step.  Poco a poco.  But it's getting closer.   I'm just not there...YET.

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