Quarantined at Christmas

This must be the whole “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” part.  We didn’t plan to get sick, and we certainly never asked for it.  We just wanted to enjoy our lives (taking appropriate precautions, of course), and like so many others, we still contracted this vile illness.  It came out of nowhere to stomp all over our season’s greetings, and it’s knocked us flat on our backs.  

It feels like we’re on day 46,823 or something, but I know it’s only been just over a week now. On top of the textbook COVID stuff, I’m now experiencing the excruciating delight of a UTI *sarcasm noted* on top of the miserable aches and fatigue. Whether this was the metaphorical straw that sent me in a downward spiral or whether the confines of this quarantined Christmas abode finally wore me down, I’m not sure. But these last few days have been pure mental misery.  Dark thoughts that I had celebrated as gone crept back in and toyed with my head and heart again. Now I’m tired on top of tired, and I’m immensely disappointed in how weak I feel (physically and mentally/emotionally).  I don’t like that part of me, and I’m not quite seasoned yet in stopping it from emerging before it does. 

I know that I’m a much better nurse when I’m not sick too. But that’s how it will be sometimes, I suppose. Both Turners simultaneously down and out. But, I’m thankful that you’ve put up with my COVID-induced rollercoaster of insanity these last few days. You’re way better at this stuff than I give you credit for. 

This was NOT the cuddly, snuggly Christmas I wanted. This was not and still is not candy canes and sugar plums. And even though there’s been a lot of hot chocolate, I don’t even know if it’s been good or not since I have no sense of taste (though I’m confident it always tastes better when you make it).  But even though this has been a Grinchy Christmas to say the least, I’m thankful that we are alive. Others we love haven’t been as fortunate as we.  And I’m thankful that you’re my better half. And that when I quit on myself, that you don’t quit on me too. 

I love you, Turner.  You’re one remarkable man. Even when you’re on my nerves. 🥰😘

{Gal. 6:2}