Dear friend whose heart has been broken by “him”

Dear friend whose heart has been broken by “him”,

I’m so proud of you. You are truly an incredible woman, and I can’t fathom the inner strength you’re summoning right now. I feel convicted to realize I wouldn’t be handling that situation with the dignity, grace, and composure you’re displaying. Admittedly, I’m envious of those remarkable qualities in you. More importantly, I have incredible respect for you. 

I’m just going to put it out there. He didn’t deserve you. I know that sounds so trite, but it’s true. You only deserve the absolute best, and it’s clear by his poor choice in letting you go that he’s not the best!  

But I know this reminder doesn’t take away the hurt and pain. How could it?  But it’s an important reminder nonetheless. And every day that you grow stronger, you will begin to remind yourself of these truths. 

I can’t say what God has in your future. But I can say I’ve been in a similar situation to how you probably feel now. Perhaps more than the hurt is the general wondering if anyone is going to find you worthy and desirable?  You know that God has you in His hand, but you still want your hand to be held by a loving, handsome, godly man who loves you back. Acknowledgment and logic doesn’t take away the loneliness. And I know that. 

But you know what else?  If you don’t put these broken pieces back together... if you pack the wrong baggage to carry forward from this relationship... if you don’t find your worth in God alone... then trust me when I tell you that when Mr. Right comes along, your issues and these feelings won’t have gone away. In fact, they may surface with a vengeance. 

It’s not like what we see in movies or read in books. Sometimes those of us who’ve been in the throes of relationship trauma believe we are healed and are thankful for who God brings into our lives... only to rediscover that deep-seated pain because we just can’t believe we could finally be happy or even deserve happiness. 

So dig deep. Establish your boundaries. Reflect. Cry. Pray. But know that even when the day comes that your physical longing is met with someone wonderful - and I have no doubt that it very well will be - that the feelings could still be there. Even if you think you’ve dealt with every last one of them.  Because I’ve seen for myself all sides of this kind of despair, and I know that when he finally finds you, you’ll want to be whole and perfected in the Lord. Your wait will have meant something. Don’t internalize any of this hurt to mean you’re unlovable. Because one day the right one will come and show you how incredible and lovable you really are!  And you will want to be ready to hear and believe it. I promise. ❤️