Inside Bell's Brain

Going in somewhat of a chronological order, Sarah would be the next wife on my list after studying Eve. Admittedly, Sarah gave me quite a perplexed perspective as I tried to glean some helpful guidance from her accounts. Some curious things happen in hers and Abraham’s story, and I honestly think I still have a lot to study before I fully understand it all. But here’s what I’ve gathered so far.  Sarah went along with her husband’s plans of deception. On more than one occasion (Gen. 12:10-20; Gen. 20), Abraham convinces Sarah to lie - or at least mislead - the rulers of the lands through which they were passing. Apparently Sarah was very attractive (Gen. 12:11, 14), and Abraham feared these rulers would kill him in order to get to Sarah if they thought she was his wife (Gen. 12:11-13). So, they agreed to say that she was his sister. Now, this wasn’t entirely untrue, but let’s face it... half-truths are still lies. This whole thing just blows my mind, and I would certainly be curiou...

I honestly don’t mean to complain. But I found myself complaining yet again about my body. I didn’t mean to, but it keeps bouncing around my head. I was fussing to my husband about how it just doesn’t seem fair... particularly because I can’t seem to have everything I want at once. Like, I can’t just get it all together once and for all.  When I was blazing through my National Boards and rocking it at school, I felt other areas of my life slipping. I would often feel lonely and an empty longing for someone to share my life with. When I spent oodles of time preparing for and teaching fitness classes and running, weightlifting, and Crossfitting... well, by then I had a boyfriend (my now husband) and a fit body (still not perfect, but proud), but my spiritual life started slipping. Now I’m a wife and I feel like I’m growing as a Christian, but the work/life balance has become increasingly complicated, and my physical body/weight has DEFINITELY paid the price. Why won’t God just let m...

Dear Erika, Here we go again. You’ve fallen off the fasting wagon... again. And let’s face it... you used to be thick, but still fit... but that ship may have sailed. Far far away. You’ve long fallen off the fitness wagon too.  Something’s got to give though because you’re unhappy with who you are and who you’ve become. Now, granted, you’ve been through some seriously tough and unfair crap these past few years. You’ve realized there were so many people who should’ve loved you better along the way than they did. And you know that logically, but you forget to remember it in your heart sometimes. One of those people... is you. You deserved to give yourself so much more compassion and grace than you did, still do.  But you’ve still got to get it together. It won’t happen over night but if you have to reread this letter every day until it clicks, then DO IT. You’re unhappy with your current vessel. And you’re 34 now, so it may have limitations that it didn’t have before, but you’re...

I think it's only human to contemplate in our times of suffering, "Why is this happening to me?"  It's so easy to see things only through our limited lens of understanding, and it often only serves to remind us how small and insignificant we are in comparison to the universe.  I've thought that very question A LOT in my struggle with mental health issues over the past couple years.  I thought in my years after grad school that I had "achieved" a resting place in such a good head space that surely this would never happen to me!  Surely I'd seen the worst of depression and anxiety.  But that simply wasn't the case, and it certainly wasn't for lack of me trying to recover and get back to myself.  Recently, I've been blessed with a season of healing, and my prayer is that my effort, the effort of my loved ones, and the care and practice of my health professionals continues to help me see better days in the future.  Some days are still a neve...

I mentioned in a previous post (or at least think I did, lol) about how I participated in a book study on trauma this year for my professional development. (I know I at least recommended the book on my post about surviving mental illness . Here’s a link to purchase the book if you’re interested; I highly recommend it!) Each chapter, we were asked to dig a little deeper into some of the content and answer some questions related to the topics in that chapter. My response to the first assignment is the one I’m including in this post because 1) I think it’s a worthy post, 2) I think it’s essential to continuously reflect on your “why”, and 3) I plan to talk a LOT more about trauma on the blog as I learn more and more... both as a professional and as a regular ol’ human. Our discussion leader posed the following question:  Week 1: What is your WHY?  Why do you think it is important to learn about trauma in our schools? I’ve been thinking A LOT about this q...

Like many people, I have been taking the time during quarantine to dig more deeply spiritually.  If there's one silver lining that has come from this pandemic, I would say that it has certainly been that. And one Bible topic that has always been of interest to me is marriage.  Now, don't get me wrong, neither my husband nor I am an expert in this topic by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, I'd say quite the opposite.  In our first year of marriage, we've definitely realized that knowledge of a topic doesn't necessarily equip one with the application skills necessary for success in a "real life" situation.  (In other words, we may be well-studied, but real life tests are a whole new world.) That said, I am tremendously appreciative of the Christian women and couples who've reached out to us to help us find our way in this transitional time.  For my part, I'm still trying to study on what it means to be a godly wife and achieve...